A lot of days, I spend feeling like an outsider. Looking in on a community that seems to be thriving, but that I do not exist in. I recently saw a post by Author Calvin Naraghi, where he stated that "Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky was his favorite book of all time. And I can truly relate to that title. That's what makes it so great. Not all of us fit in, because we've all had our own unique experiences in life. Our hardships do shape who we become, but we get to choose in what facet.

A lot of days, I spend feeling like an outsider, but today wasn't one of those days.

Today, I had meaningful conversations with several book besties who reminded me that I don't have to be an extroverted, hype-queen, or book marathon reader to be a part of the community. All I have to do is put in the effort, even if it scares me. I may not have a substantial following, and I may not read 100+ books a year (Let's face the facts, with my schedule, three kids, and book deadlines, I'm lucky if I get through ten to twenty per/year). But I'm a writer, and a lover of literature.

I'm fortunate, even though life has been more of a slow burn. I'm finding great people who have truly gained something in reading my books. I'm finding friendships that will last a lifetime, and support that has made all the difference.

Some days I want to quit, because it's scary and overwhelming, but it's also the one thing in my life (Apart from my children and partner) that brings me absolute joy. Some days I get to escape into the worlds created by brilliant minds, and other days I get to make my own. 

So, I'm more of a wallflower. And that is OKAY. Because everyone heals at a different pace. I used to be happy and outgoing, and life took that away from me. It took my voice, but that doesn't mean I don't belong; it means it might take me longer to break out of my shell. It means it's going to take me longer to hit post on that video I made last week. It's going to be harder for me to start a conversation with someone. It's going to be harder to feel included. But know that if I do post that video, if I do start that conversation, that's me pushing through my fears. That's me healing, that's a little win for me. And that's something I will always be proud of, and I hope you can find peace in your little wins, too.

With Moonlit Regards,

S. Huffman